How To Be The Best Version Of You

How To Be The Best Version Of You

It’s an interesting yet sobering thought isn’t it?  How to be the best version of you.  Does that mean there are multiple versions of yourself?  Well, of course there is, just think about it.  Are you the same person at work as you are at home?  Are you the same with your kids as you are with your friends?  Are you the same person with your spouse that you. were with your girlfriend when you were 25?  I could go on and on but you get the point.  You even change who you are somewhat day to day as well as week to week.  Sometimes you are in more of a down mood, sometimes in more of an upbeat mood.  Sometimes we have great months and sometimes we have shitty years.  You are a different person in many different ways in many different phases.  So how can you be the best version of you?  Well, let’s discuss.

Be True to Yourself – Always

As written by Shakespeare and spoken by Polonius to his son “To thine own self be true”.  So what does this mean?  Well, I think you can interpret it in a variety of different ways.  To me it means living a life externally to what you feel internally.  In Carl Rogers personality theory he speaks to a term called congruency which is the meeting of the actual self and the ideal self, where they are in agreement.  Now this is pretty deep for me but underneath all the psycho babble it means the same as what I believe it to be – that is how you feel, think. believe internally is also what you project to the world.  Some of this you see as part of the natural aging process many times.  This is partly why over the last 5 years I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t give a shit what other people think about me.  It’s impossible not to shape shift a little bit in different situations but in for the vast majority of who I “am” I am myself in all situations.  I don’t hide what I think or feel.  If you don’t like it, okay, that’s fine.  We don’t all get along all the time.  This has come into a lot of conversations over the past several years with many of my close relationships – wife, daughter, parents.  It’s OK to fight sometimes.  That doesn’t mean any of us love each other any less.  Conflict is okay.  Be true to how you feel.  flexoffers

Take Responsibility for Yourself – Always

This is huge.  So many people find a huge variety of reasons why something isn’t right in their life.  They complain about how their boss at work is keeping them from achieving something.  So go find another boss who helps you achieve instead of impedes you.  They complain about how busy the stores are on Black Friday (which is today ha!).  So don’t go shopping on Black Friday.  They complain about how their friend is always late to anything they do.  So don’t do anything with that friend for the next 3 months.  They complain about their bodies.  So eat some veggies and go for a run.  The point is they act like they don’t have control over their own happiness.  This is a default setting for most people.  To truly embrace all that life has to offer you must take responsibility for yourself.  You have to be the driver of your own bus, the captain of your own ship.  You have to own your mistakes and own your happiness.  Some things are harder to take charge of than others.  Getting a divorce sucks.  Going through the process of getting a new job can be a massive pain in the ass.  But the truth is that anything you want to do or accomplish or be MUST BE DRIVEN BY YOU.  Take control of your own life and get to where you want to be.  Seriously.

Stay Excited and Engaged

Continuing on from the theme of taking responsibility for your own happiness this leads to being excited about life.  You have to think about all the things that life can offer you.  Get excited about it!!  Today is Black Friday and it’s almost 70 degrees outside.  In November!  So after I get done writing this post I’m going to get out and about.  I’m mostly going to run some errands like taking my recycling by and dropping some stuff off at Goodwill.  I might even sneak into a store or two to get an early start on my holiday shopping.  Even though I’ll mostly be running errands and it’s gonna be crazy busy out and about I’m excited about it.  Because it’s so pretty outside I think I’m going to wear shorts.  In November!  To me that’s exciting!  A common theme I write about on here is being awake, alert, and engaged in life, not letting life simply pass you by.  When you think of the many possibilities open to you in life it’s silly not to be excited about it.

Keep Good Peeps in Your Life

I am going crazy trying to remember a quote I heard once that I loved.  I found another one that is similar “Remember who was there for you when you were at your lowest”.  And the same needs to be true when you are at your best.  The really good people in your life are the ones that help you be your best version of you.  They inspire you to want to achieve more, they don’t hold you back from wanting to be the best you can be.  The best people don’t undermine you or do things that somehow get in the way of your happiness.  Remember you are the average of the 5 people you hang around the most.  So take a look around and ensure you’ve got good strong supportive people in your life.  If they don’t want the best for you then it’s time to start maneuvering them out of your life.

Always Be Learning & Improving

I don’t want you to get the impression that you have to always be learning some big new skill or another language.  That’s too overwhelming.  If you cultivate a curious mind you can always be learning new things.  Be interested in what people say to you and really listen.  I am fortunate in that I have a job where I am continuously talking to new people.  I am a true people person and enjoy being around lots of people at work.  I love hearing what people do and what their companies do.  I always find something new out.  The easiest way to learn new stuff is to simply listen to people.  There’s always books and online as well.  And if you commit yourself to continuous improvement you can be pretty sure you are pushing yourself to be the best person you can be.  And this is the same in that you don’t have to always be trying to improve in everything you do, that can be too much as well.  It’s more of a focusing on certain areas for a while and rotating that around.  Like improving your fitness level for 6 months then switching gears to double down at work and see how you can make more money next year.  While you are doing that you can spend some downtime figuring out how to accomplish those 3 home improvement projects this year as well.  It’s about cultivating the mindset of ongoing learning and improving.

Little By Little

People in general are very geared towards self gratification.  That’s why it’s so much easier to zone on the television for an hour instead of grinding out a work out.  It’s also a lot easier to go buy McDonald’s than it is to make yourself a meal.  But you’ve got to focus on the long term and realize how small steps leads to big things.  If you commit yourself to micro improvements it adds up to a lot over time.  Let’s say you want to get better at shooting free throws because right now you suck.  Like Shaq suck.  So if right now you make 4 out of 20 and you want to get that to hitting 18 out of 20.  Well then tell yourself your goal is to make 6 out of 20 within a month’s time frame.  So you practice 2-3 hours per week and after 1 month you make 6 out of 20.  After 2 months you can make 8/20. And so on until after 7 months you would have hit your goal of knocking down 18 free throws out of 20 attempts.  You’d be a rock start in free throws and it only took you a little over 1/2 a year.  Pretty impressive right!?  That’s how you achieve big things to get along the road of being the best version of yourself you can be.  You look to make little gains on a continual basis and over time this grows into huge rewards and benefits.

Be Patient

Supplamenting the last thought be patient with yourself.  Remember that great things take time and it really is the best things in life that take time and patience to get great.  Think of yourself as a continual work in progress that never reaches a final model or state of being.  In your quest to live a full and enriching life that has meaning your world will constantly evolve.  Nothing stays the same, things always change.  And so do you.  Adjust and adapt along the way and enjoy the process.  It’s a wonderful ride – get onboard and enjoy the view.

As always I’d love to hear your thoughts and insights.

Thanks for taking the time to read – All my best,

Mat A.

Mat A.





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  1. Hi Mat, thank you for this recommendations. Honestly, they apply to both, men and women. I agree that each person is very versatile, and it’s important to self-develop and gain new life skills. The lack of responsibility is a common problem for many people nowadays. It seems to be so easy to shift responsibility to others, but truly there is only one person in charge – yourself. Same with Learning & Improving – it’s never too late!

    1. Hi Soby – thanks for the thoughts and sharing your words.  I think it’s important to be learning consistently.  It’s not as hard as learning a new language, more along the lines of being open to learning new things when the opportunity presents itself.  We are each in charge of our own destiny!  Have a great one!  

  2. I think learning is the most important step to becoming a better version of ourselves. If we dont do this then we wont know how to evolve. this paired with being more social will open many doors in our lives. after all we are social creatures.

    Do you have some sort of planner or timetable for your day to day activities as i need something to organise myself better?

    1. Hi Mubs – thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, it’s great to hear from you.  I use a yearly planner that has all the days of the year included.  I make myself weekly notes of what I want to accomplish as well as putting specific things each do.  It really helps keep me on track!  

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