Getting Stuck Or Needing A Hand Up
Sometimes we get stuck in the same rut and feel like we are caught in Groundhog Day. Or sometimes shitty things happen to us and we start circling the drain. Maybe your world just got turned upside down and you don’t know what to do or who to trust. In every life there comes a time when we feel like we could use some assistance in breaking out of the same old patterns or we just need to find some inspirational light to help us get moving down a better path. Sometimes we have other folks in our life to be there to help but let’s face it, they have lives of their own. When you need some assistance to restart your life, here’s a few ideas to get you started:
Endings Are Not Always a Bad Thing
When something ends, whether it be a job or a marriage or a business, it can be chest clutching, cold sweat inducing, jaw dropping horrifying. Like the walls are closing in and my world is going to end kind of feeling. Once you’ve put some time and distance between the big event and have started to move on you see it with a fresh set of eyes. Each situation that ends gives us a chance to grow. We learn from it and if we are half-way smart at all, make adjustments so that we either don’t get in the same type situation or if we do, we know better how to handle it. I am a big believer that things happen for a reason and in hindsight most of the time we are happy things ended because it opens up new doors for us.
Moving Through Life is Not Smooth
It’s actually more like climbing stairs that are really jagged and sometimes go down instead of up. If you are mindful you will eventually move up to bigger and better things but there’s lots and lots of bumps. Sometimes there’s big jumps up but just as often there is typically an almost as big step down. The process of life is that it is never a straight shot. Have some patience with yourself and if you are putting energy and time into positive things enjoy that process and believe it will work out well.
Let Go Of The Past
Look, it happened. What’s done is done. When something shitty happens and we are feeling how unfair life is our natural state of emotion is to get really pissed and kick and scream. Now stop to think about it, how does this help our situation? Well the obvious answer is, it doesn’t. Every difficult thing in our life goes hand in hand with the opportunity for personal growth and learning new things, new ways, finding new discoveries. We have to realize that EVERYONE has difficult times in their lives. Once we realize this and most importantly accept this we can put some rational thought into and see it as an opportunity to grow and learn a lesson that will help us better next time.
Focus On What You Can Change And Control
This one has been done to death but if you are anything like me you have to consciously and consistently remind yourself that there are many things outside your control that influence your life. When I am at my best I will only try to control exactly what I can. And that is very difficult for me as I am a doer and like to manage my life a certain way, a way that works for me. Now the problem I run into is not everyone in my life is exactly aligned with that. As a matter of fact, they even seem to have their own agenda. How dare they! Wasting your time and as important your ENERGY on things that are beyond your control is a big fat recipe for frustration and will keep you stagnant. Invest your time and energy into things you can change, and that mostly means you.
Start With One Thing
When you are stuck in a pit and don’t see anyway up it can be overwhelming. When multiple areas in your life are in disarray and you can’t see the forest for the trees things can seem hopeless. When you look at the smoking ruin that you are currently calling your life and don’t see anything you like what can you do? It’s all so hopeless! I have too much to change because I don’t know what to do! Well, that’s when you take a deep breath first of all. Once you’ve calmed yourself down a bit make a list of some of the things you’d like to change in your life. Don’t list everything because then you are going to be overwhelmed again. List 3-4 things that are the MOST important to you to change. Now pick one and start. That’s it, just pick one. Do that for a few weeks or a month until it becomes a habit. Once it’s become normal for you and that part of your life has begun to improve pick a 2nd item and start that. Do it for a month and then pick number 3. This is how we rebuild our house. One brick at a time. You have to look at it this way and take the long view. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Remember this: You are never a finished product. Life is a continuous process of learning (for those folks smart enough to remember it). Everything you do, everything you say, every action you take affects everything else in your life. You can be wildly up one week and wildly down the next. Or month to month or year to year. Or if you’re in sales day to day! Think of how plans are rarely EXACTLY on course. Their guidance systems are CONSTANTLY tweaking and changing and adjusting the course to help the plan arrive safely at it’s destination. Now we don’t exactly have a destination like that but we have to continually change our course here and there.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts as well.
All my best!