Is Being Quiet A Good Thing
As we go through life we interact with many people. Some we tend to get along with better than others. Some people we seem to naturally like and feel kind of connected to right off the bat, others seem to kind of rub us the wrong way for some reason we can’t put our finger on. A lot of people are drawn to the outgoing more boisterous personality while others seem to feel a more natural inclination to a quieter type of person. For some reason I’ve heard people tell me that they don’t trust someone who’s too quiet…………….for what reason I have no idea. Maybe they think they are hiding something by being quiet? So it led me to wonder – Is being quiet a good thing? Let’s explore shall we.
Many times a quiet person is a very good listener. I don’t know if you’ve ever had the pleasure of speaking with someone who made you feel like you were the only person in existence when you spoke but if you have you know how awesome it is. I’ve know a few people like this in my life and it’s a very amazing feeling. I think therapists and psychologists must be trained to listen more effectively. When someone goes to them with an issue or problem they need help with it’s gotta feel amazing to have someone who REALLY LISTENS you know. In the world of vast distractions that we live in today it’s hard enough to get someone to not look at their phone every 10 seconds much less someone who looks you in the eye and really seems to absorb the words coming out of your mouth. Quiet people tend to be better at this.
Quiet people tend to exude an air of calmness about them. It’s like they go about their own business without interfering much with others and focus on what they are doing. If you’ve ever worked on a big project with a group of people you’d be blessed to have a quiet calm co-worker on your team. They are good at focusing on the task and not getting swept up having conversations about every little detail. They move things forward without a lot of discussion and as a result the calmness that comes from their quietude will slowly spread out to others on the team and help bring the freak out factor down several notches so everyone isn’t running around getting too worked up.
As my 15 year old daughter is fond of saying, it’s annoying. Well, in this case, people who talk talk talk can get annoying. Look, I don’t mind having conversations, it’s big part of what I do for a living and my personality in general. I’m a curious person and I can ask a lot of questions. That being said I don’t like to talk all the time. People who talk all the freaking time can get quite annoying. When someone keeps talking to me WAY past the point that the conversation needs to be and continues to drone on and on I’m thinking to myself “Don’t you have something you could be doing that doesn’t involve yapping at me?”. And then I figure out a way to extract myself from the situation quickly. And when you are around a quiet person and don’t have to endure the endless chit chat it’s a whole lot less annoying.
For some reason the more someone talks the less we tend to trust them. Maybe it’s because they remind us of the sneaky salesman who keeps going on and on on about how great a car is. Or the person that floods you with an onslaught of information that doesn’t really seem to mean anything. More aggressive and outgoing people can be viewed as more self-serving. Quiet people on the other hand tend to come across as more believable. Maybe it’s because they say less so we feel that when they do have something to say it comes from the heart or from a real place.
A Deep Thinker
In many cases folks who are deep thinkers are quiet. It’s not really much of a stretch to see that someone who does a lot of deep thinking has their focus on the inside of their head instead of the outside. Deep thinking is not exactly what you’d call a social activity so they usually aren’t found in large groups of people who fighting for the chance to say what they want. In being a deep thinker quiet people will most definitely put out less (as in words) than they take in (through observation). As a deep thinker they are often very good problem solvers. The work through a problem or situation thoroughly in their head from many angles before coming up with whatever answer or solution they feel is best.
Okay, I think it’s going out on a bit of a limb to state that quiet people are smarter as a blanket statement. That being said it’s easier to fall into the believe that people who talk about something know what they’re saying. But do they? I don’t know, I’m simply sharing an observation. It stands to reason that quiet people spend more time reading and learning about things. They absorb new information and analyze it in a variety of ways to see if it holds true. They most likely have stronger brains because they take the time to use it a lot by thinking (or sometimes overthinking) on topics. They learn from others by observing and studying instead of putting themselves out there. They tend to come off smarter since when they do speak they choose their words wisely.
As you can see being quiet can certainly be a good thing. Quiet people, just like louder, more outgoing people, have really good qualities. I am more outgoing and am not usually mistaken for a quiet person. My natural personality is external. In my job I talk to a lot of people and I really enjoy that. I enjoy finding out about people and interacting with them. The flip side of that is sometimes when I am done for the day I am DONE for the day and I will go into my quiet mode. And that’s when people sometimes think I’m smart 😉
For further reading on quiet folks and being introverted check out this article titled Revenge Of The Introvert by Laurie Helgoe published in Psychology Today. Good stuff!
All my best,